According to the Old Farmer's Almanac (the paper kind that we keep in the john), it's now raccoon mating season.
It's possible, reader, that you find this absurd. However, when one checks around, this bit of outhouse wisdom appears to be scientifically sound
That's more than one can say for the attempted revival of the political doctrine of nullification
, of which secession and civil war are mere bastard offspring. That this potentially deadly and suicidal idea can get news coverage shows the increasing backwardness of the "United" States, which is busily dredging up old ways to break apart just as the other nations of the world are stumbling toward devising new ways to come together. Once again, Grampa, you should have followed the relations to Canada instead of following your drinking mates to the USA.
The start of raccoon mating season is also a sounder premise than the one filling scores of cardio wards around the country: that Jay Cutler is (or is not) a wimp
. And why, ask the football-challenged? Because he left (or was removed from) the NFC Championship game without actually leaving one of his limbs out on the playing field. And, having left, he didn't look hurt enough. Read a few lines of interwebz logic on this subject and you'll begin to see why health care is such a difficult concept for a certain part of the American population to grasp. The outraged fans on either side of this scrum may, if we're lucky, die in the ER waiting room whilst proving how manly they are. The amount of air time, ink, and pixels devoted to this subject prove beyond doubt that most of the media have no clue how many people simply don't give a rat's arse one way or another.
The few local ones who grasp the popular apathy about Cutler have dug up the statistic that the greater Boston area will have received 50 inches of snow by the time the current fall ends in the morning...that is, in 30 days. They're the ones who think this can interest or amuse those of us in a dull haze of denial, which makes them as deluded as the pro-or-anti-Cutler fanatics.
My neighbour has a raccoon pair tucked into her oak tree about 30 feet up. I wonder if they have room to let?