Curling around the point

The gym at my new place of work is a modest affair. Along with other small deficiencies it lacks TV. This is important at the moment because one only sees curling on American television during the Winter Olympics, and then between 4 and 7 a.m. on obscure cable channels.

Curling, you may recall, is that sport which requires participants to sling a large rock across a sheet of ice, accompanied by people with brooms. (The rock is, not the slinger.) As far as I can make out, the point of this is to oblige the winning team to buy a round of beer for the losers (or is it the other way round?) Whatever, it appears to be the most relaxing thing one can do on ice, apart from certain forms of ice fishing or driving a Zamboni.

I believe thoughtful Americans need to study curling. It is a metaphor for some essential cultural differences between ourselves and Canada. It may be the secret to creating a mellow and tolerant society. It could be a way to get a free beer every now and then.

Football fans especially need to watch more curling. They will never again call baseball "slow."