Why just beat the press?
OK, it's mostly press, but what the hell.
For a while, I was taking names about this observation, but it's bloomed so quickly that it seems unfair to single out just one broadcast "journalist."
Ladies and gentlemen of the broadcast news media, the adjective that applies to the energy catastrophe in Japan is pronounced NOO-klee-er. Evidently you were living under a rock during the recent shrub presidency, when our tang-tungled leader made NOO-kyuh-ler infamous and hilarious. Dictionary.com tells me that NOO-kyuh-ler is an example of metathesis. The lexicographers' definition, of mere transposition, is very polite. (So are most lexicographers, until you get a few drinks into them.) I like the candour of the chemical definition of metathesis: double decomposition. I don't see why we shouldn't apply that to NOO-kyuh-ler as well. Incidentally, tang-tungled is also metathesis, but I suggest that transposition for the sake of humourous effect differs from transposition in a serious news item or speech.
Speaking of metathesis, pity the poor morning news reporters. The get up about 3 a.m., drive in theta state to the studio, grab a handful of copy and read it. (Can you tell I've been there?) However, Rule 1 for broadcast news is to pre-read your copy. That is, you get wherever you're supposed to be talking, and read it to yourself at about the same speed you'll read it into the mic. Rule 2 is to concentrate entirely on the task. These rules used to be subtly reinforced by colleagues who punked announcers in various ways. One might have pornographic selections slipped into one's copy, all the copy might be replaced with stories very much like the leaders from The Onion, or a person of the opposite sex might begin to strip in one's field of vision but off-mic and off-camera.
Alas, a radio announcer this morning failed to observe this rule. Thus his listeners learned that the con man Christian Gerhartsreiter has been charged with murder in the 1994 disappearance of John and Linda Sohus, and that John Sohus' remains had been discovered in 1985. I assume that Gerhartsreiter will be charged not only with murder, but with unauthorised time travel.
I also assume that the announcer was so wound up about correctly pronouncing Gerhartsreiter that he muffed the dates (he muffed the name too). I challenge anyone but a native German speaker to pronounce "Gerhartsreiter" correctly at 7:30 a.m. My sympathies.
Finally, a confession. I am personally responsible for the stock market tanking, as I have been for every dive it's taken in the last two-plus years. It happens every time I begin to take steps to move the remnants of my once-respectable portfolio out of cash funds (our era's equivalent of stuffing money in a mattress) and back into investments. There are many excuses, but I'll take the responsibility.
For a while, I was taking names about this observation, but it's bloomed so quickly that it seems unfair to single out just one broadcast "journalist."
Ladies and gentlemen of the broadcast news media, the adjective that applies to the energy catastrophe in Japan is pronounced NOO-klee-er. Evidently you were living under a rock during the recent shrub presidency, when our tang-tungled leader made NOO-kyuh-ler infamous and hilarious. Dictionary.com tells me that NOO-kyuh-ler is an example of metathesis. The lexicographers' definition, of mere transposition, is very polite. (So are most lexicographers, until you get a few drinks into them.) I like the candour of the chemical definition of metathesis: double decomposition. I don't see why we shouldn't apply that to NOO-kyuh-ler as well. Incidentally, tang-tungled is also metathesis, but I suggest that transposition for the sake of humourous effect differs from transposition in a serious news item or speech.
Speaking of metathesis, pity the poor morning news reporters. The get up about 3 a.m., drive in theta state to the studio, grab a handful of copy and read it. (Can you tell I've been there?) However, Rule 1 for broadcast news is to pre-read your copy. That is, you get wherever you're supposed to be talking, and read it to yourself at about the same speed you'll read it into the mic. Rule 2 is to concentrate entirely on the task. These rules used to be subtly reinforced by colleagues who punked announcers in various ways. One might have pornographic selections slipped into one's copy, all the copy might be replaced with stories very much like the leaders from The Onion, or a person of the opposite sex might begin to strip in one's field of vision but off-mic and off-camera.
Alas, a radio announcer this morning failed to observe this rule. Thus his listeners learned that the con man Christian Gerhartsreiter has been charged with murder in the 1994 disappearance of John and Linda Sohus, and that John Sohus' remains had been discovered in 1985. I assume that Gerhartsreiter will be charged not only with murder, but with unauthorised time travel.
I also assume that the announcer was so wound up about correctly pronouncing Gerhartsreiter that he muffed the dates (he muffed the name too). I challenge anyone but a native German speaker to pronounce "Gerhartsreiter" correctly at 7:30 a.m. My sympathies.
Finally, a confession. I am personally responsible for the stock market tanking, as I have been for every dive it's taken in the last two-plus years. It happens every time I begin to take steps to move the remnants of my once-respectable portfolio out of cash funds (our era's equivalent of stuffing money in a mattress) and back into investments. There are many excuses, but I'll take the responsibility.
Labels: media criticism, stock market
posted by Uncle | 23:05
2 Comments:
So...you short?
If I were any shorter, I'd be standing by the roadside with a "will work for food" sign.
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