Too Old to be Carded?

It's taken me somewhere over two years to get around to obtaining a Beer Works VIP card. I spent most of that time procrastinating. I spent the rest quarreling with a very unintuitive Web site until it crossed my mind that I'd do better dealing with the live human behind the bar at the Salem emporium. After the barkeep expressed astonishment that I didn't have one (seeing that I have engraved spots for my elbows on the bar) I received my Precious.

Now, I may just need help using it for something more reckless than the spouse's weekly Cabernet.
Seems like Hercules must be just below the horizon.