More from the Department of the Obvious

This news item brought back more repressed memories. Apparently there's a reason for swinging our arms when we walk. What a concept!

In Navy boot camp, because I could sing, I was detailed to the Bluejacket Choir. In palmier times, this might have led to a relatively cushy tour, but Nixon didn't like choral music, so the choir was banished to the hinterlands. The only slack a choir assignment cut you was that you went to a boot battalion that included choir, drill team, band, etc., and drill instructors (DIs) who were slightly more rational than the average: that is, they rarely drew blood.

I digress. Somewhere along the line the chorale conductor, a civilian, had got hold of the idea that the choir should march in front of an audience in very close order, swinging the left arm with the left leg, right arm with the right, etc. The effect must have been much like watching a box full of marionettes. We had to perform every week for recruit graduation, marching like this.

Let me tell you that swinging the same side arm and leg is an absolute bitch. One's balance goes totally flaky. If you ended up on the outside of the formation, you were not only doing the Babes in Toyland routine, but trying to stay upright when someone in this shoulder-to-shoulder formation fucked up and sent one or two files spinning in disorder. The audience included both the conductor and your DI, and god help you if the performance was less than perfect.

Once again, I've reached a conclusion far ahead of the people paid big bucks to research the obvious. We swing our arms the way we do for an excellent reason: to stay upright.

I assume my cheque's in the mail?