This and that

I am not seeking the US Senate seat made vacant by Ted Kennedy's death. It seems useful to make that clear, since those of us not running seem to be distinct minority.

Here's one more addition to the list of low income workers whose passive aggression on the job can make your life momentarily miserable: shopping cart wranglers. You've seen them: the bottom-rung labourers at supermarkets, box stores or whatever, who get to go out and fetch back the shopping carts most of us are too lazy or too dumb to at least bring to the cart corrals. You'd think that half an hour of paid time on a bright summer day would restore their spirits. Alas, no. They get to direct their anger at their sinuous herd of carts, and finish up by jamming them together to firmly that the next shopper will need a crowbar to get the carts to part. I speak from experience. The four fingers I jammed trying to pull two shopping carts apart a couple days back are finally raising no objections to being planted on a keyboard. Let us all learn from this, return our carts to the corrals, and aid the wranglers' anger management.

Once upon a time, the Maytag people really were tops in dependability. Ours is about to go to its reward, after 23 years of service; service, mind, without a single repair. In washers, they truly don't make them like they used to. Speaking of passive aggression, I don't know what we did to this machine to inspire it to begin dribbling oil on clothes at the start of the Labour Day weekend.

The logistics of delivery, plumber-assisted shifting of gas dryers, and removal have taken up a good part of the past four days. Are you watching, George Carlin? If you are, I bet you're damn surprised that you are, but not surprised at this proof that the stuff owns us.

PS: a can of Coca-Cola really does remove a lot of grease and oil stains.