More lessons from my childhood

The following observations may suggest that as a child I committed wrongdoing. That's correct. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, I know that wrongdoing has unpleasant consequences.

First one, for the Salahis. When you do something wrong, have your story lined up in advance and stick to it! Don't float one story after another, changing according to the public reaction.
[Late news: maybe Tiger Woods should assimilate this one too.]

Second one, for Tiger Woods. Mark Twain was right. Golf is "a good walk spoiled." Consider a career change. To preserve your privacy you might try becoming an actuary: paparazzi don't bother actuaries. I discovered the golf lesson in my teens, when I had the illusion that I could play.

Third, also for Tiger Woods. When you break something, don't clam up: that just makes it worse. man up and blame somebody else! Siblings are very useful for this, but don't neglect neighbours.

Last, hockey player Keith Ballard should consider a career change too, or at least anger management classes. If the man cannot hit the goal in anger and instead nearly takes off the head off his own goalie, it suggests that he also can't hit the puck. Time for a change, Dude.

Out.