Why do they do that?
This is a small item compared to some things of the same stripe. We were leaving our Turkey Day venue (in Maine, if it matters). The lobby here, which is close to the water, sends a blast of cool air into a warm interior any time the door opens. Just the thing for someone with trigeminal neuralgia triggered by such breezes. Bitter experience has taught me to wrap up far from the door here, no matter the outside temp.
So, I'm buttoned up with parka and bomber hat, flaps down, before turning the corner into the wind tunnel. Behind me, a middle-aged woman brightly chirps, "well, you sure look ready for this winter weather!"
I turned around and said, evenly, "unfortunately, I have to cover up like this due to a neurological problem." Then I turned and went out without waiting for the reaction.
What prompts people who appear otherwise civilised to volunteer such stupid and insensitive remarks? I know at least one member of the audience here has had more than her share of such comments.
I remember an even worse display from my Revere House days. We were having a staff seminar on dealing with people with disabilities*, and doing it whilst open to the public. I had asked the presenter how difficult it was to navigate a wheelchair over Boston's quaint brick pavements. He suggested I take the wheelchair and try it, which I did. I turned into public view, and a female visitor came up and started gushing at me about how brave I was to take on the Freedom Trail. So help me, she was talking baby talk.
Inside the adjacent admission booth, watching the whole display, was a staff member who herself had some mobility problems. After the woman had spent all her store of gush and went inside, the staff member came out of the booth. She said "I didn't really think this programme was necessary. Now I do."
I didn't understand the condescension then and I don't now. For the record, the Beast didn't arrive to spoil Thanksgiving again. Paid a visit the day after.
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*I have my share, so let's call a fucking spade a spade, eh?
So, I'm buttoned up with parka and bomber hat, flaps down, before turning the corner into the wind tunnel. Behind me, a middle-aged woman brightly chirps, "well, you sure look ready for this winter weather!"
I turned around and said, evenly, "unfortunately, I have to cover up like this due to a neurological problem." Then I turned and went out without waiting for the reaction.
What prompts people who appear otherwise civilised to volunteer such stupid and insensitive remarks? I know at least one member of the audience here has had more than her share of such comments.
I remember an even worse display from my Revere House days. We were having a staff seminar on dealing with people with disabilities*, and doing it whilst open to the public. I had asked the presenter how difficult it was to navigate a wheelchair over Boston's quaint brick pavements. He suggested I take the wheelchair and try it, which I did. I turned into public view, and a female visitor came up and started gushing at me about how brave I was to take on the Freedom Trail. So help me, she was talking baby talk.
Inside the adjacent admission booth, watching the whole display, was a staff member who herself had some mobility problems. After the woman had spent all her store of gush and went inside, the staff member came out of the booth. She said "I didn't really think this programme was necessary. Now I do."
I didn't understand the condescension then and I don't now. For the record, the Beast didn't arrive to spoil Thanksgiving again. Paid a visit the day after.
-----------------------
*I have my share, so let's call a fucking spade a spade, eh?
Labels: attitudes, difference, disability, trigeminal neuralgia
posted by Uncle | 21:44
2 Comments:
At least you had the presence of mind to call her on her insensitive stupidity. An online friend was just telling me that a woman came up to her at the gym and told her "Your body's really coming along...except for your glutes." She thought of about 15 things she should have replied, but not until much later :-(
People with no filters between brain and mouth, man, they suck.
Grumble. Grunt.
This seems to be so simple as folk compelled to contribute...without any awareness of the inanity and potential for hurt. On milder levels, they ask tall folk how the weather is, tell thin or chubby or bald or redheaded folk they are those things. Then invariably they stand like Little Jack Horner waiting to hear what good kids they are for the insight.
Keep calling 'em on it. With Barney Frank out of the public ears, who else other than we shall do this?
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