The lost (or found) art of headline writing

It can hazardous to the elderly to read headlines that nearly make them laugh out of their chairs. I refer to today's brilliant AFP sally, "Air Canada ordered to offer nut-free seats."

The possibilities here may not be endless, but they are rich. We've just had a fortnight in which a wannabe jihadist nearly burnt his own nuts off, with supporting roles by a variety of simpletons either aboard aircraft or in airports. I ask you, why would I not want a nut-free seat? Make that a nut-free aircraft, if you don't mind.