A few of today's headlines

With editorial commentary, of course.

The Bush political heir will have to wait for his political career. The delay is due to the fact that it's a little harder to join the Guard or Reserves and be guaranteed safety than it once was, so George P. Bush is shipping out. He joined the Navy as an intelligence officer, says The Daily Beast. (No... really. Go read it.) And his nickname is Pee...oh I'm sorry, that's P.

McDonald's is leaving Iceland. And you thought there was no good news in the world.

The wayward NWA pilots were working on their laptops. That's the excuse du jour. I'm sure that would have been a great comfort to the widowed and orphaned if someone had gotten trigger-happy and shot that plane down. But tomorrow will bring another excuse.

Jon Gosselin criticizes wife. You don't say: now there's breaking news.

I refuse to make one more cow or beef joke in the aftermath of the Mass Turnpike beef truck accident this morning.

And those people from the Bronx will be playing baseball against those people from Philadelphia sometime later this week.